Tagflisomindimjenarp Zedjansaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy hydra.

Tagflisomindimjenarp Zedjansaf created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Tagflisomindimjenarp Zedjansaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tagflisomindimjenarp Zedjansaf, he will throw large rocks at you.

Tagflisomindimjenarp Zedjansaf's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tagflisomindimjenarp Zedjansaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not kill monkeys.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.