Futsastit is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, benevolent hydra.

Futsastit created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futsastit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Futsastit, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Futsastit's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Futsastit's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near moths.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Do not covet oxen.