Flamnatnib is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, emotional faun.

Flamnatnib created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamnatnib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flamnatnib, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Flamnatnib's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Flamnatnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Flamnatnib must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.