Dossvolbet is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful crocodile.

Dossvolbet created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Dossvolbet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dossvolbet, he will turn you into a plant.

Dossvolbet's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dossvolbet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.