Rotgemfob is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful rhinoceros.

Rotgemfob created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotgemfob, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rotgemfob, he will come to you in dreams.

Rotgemfob's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Rotgemfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.