Gepfatwab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, tranquil walrus.

Gepfatwab created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfatwab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gepfatwab, she will turn you into a tree.

Gepfatwab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gepfatwab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight titanium sculptures of Gepfatwab on top of important buildings.

2. Turtles are not to be trusted.

3. Hide if nine voles approach from the west.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gepfatwab.

5. Never eat bark.