Wighuglop is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthinking snail.

Wighuglop created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wighuglop, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wighuglop, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wighuglop's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Wighuglop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Feed all hungry squirrels.

5. Run away from turquoise monkeys, for they are unholy.