Quillcimquart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful donkey.

Quillcimquart created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quillcimquart, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quillcimquart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quillcimquart's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quillcimquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quillcimquart's name in vain.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Run away if nine mice approach from the east.