Tanbenven is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless pig.

Tanbenven created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanbenven, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tanbenven, it will turn you into a tree.

Tanbenven's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tanbenven's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. You must love Tanbenven.