Gofcunbum Xenkabqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, passionate shark.

Gofcunbum Xenkabqueeg created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gofcunbum Xenkabqueeg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gofcunbum Xenkabqueeg, she will think nothing of it.

Gofcunbum Xenkabqueeg's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gofcunbum Xenkabqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about asteroids.