Tomvonktan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witless raven.

Tomvonktan created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomvonktan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tomvonktan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Tomvonktan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tomvonktan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near ants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never jump in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.