Dotkiknib is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful squid.

Dotkiknib created the solar system two years ago.

If you believe in Dotkiknib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dotkiknib, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dotkiknib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dotkiknib's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dotkiknib four times a day.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never feed pineapples to monkeys while wearing blue dresses.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always pray immersed in water.