Genquagbell is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-assured crab.

Genquagbell created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Genquagbell, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Genquagbell, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Genquagbell's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Genquagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Genquagbell loves ants, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away from cyan dolphins, for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured gulls.