Fendonsug is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful walrus.

Fendonsug created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Fendonsug, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fendonsug, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fendonsug's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fendonsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fendonsug.

4. Erect four silicon sculptures of Fendonsug on top of important buildings.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.