Gepsterwontamzogtig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful wren.

Gepsterwontamzogtig created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepsterwontamzogtig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gepsterwontamzogtig, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gepsterwontamzogtig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gepsterwontamzogtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Do not hurt grasshopers.

4. Put Gepsterwontamzogtig first in all things.

5. Always help sharks in need.