Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered sheep.

Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Worship no other gods but Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Tettigemnut Sitrutten Nuttlargdavpas loves tortoises, so they must be respected.