Nurtdubven Quaftofrull is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental elephant.

Nurtdubven Quaftofrull created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdubven Quaftofrull, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nurtdubven Quaftofrull, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Nurtdubven Quaftofrull's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nurtdubven Quaftofrull's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always look after injured snakes.

4. Put Nurtdubven Quaftofrull first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.