Capdinhom is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish bear.

Capdinhom created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Capdinhom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Capdinhom, she will turn you into a rock.

Capdinhom's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Capdinhom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Do not hurt manatees.