Jopvagnill Dintadort is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, dishonourable hedgehog.

Jopvagnill Dintadort created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopvagnill Dintadort, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jopvagnill Dintadort, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jopvagnill Dintadort's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Jopvagnill Dintadort's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always help tapirs.

4. Jopvagnill Dintadort loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about fire.