Lennabsag Nelstiknel is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, stupid pig.

Lennabsag Nelstiknel created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lennabsag Nelstiknel, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lennabsag Nelstiknel, she will laugh at you.

Lennabsag Nelstiknel's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Lennabsag Nelstiknel's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Lennabsag Nelstiknel loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.