Loopquagzod is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, contented gorilla.

Loopquagzod created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopquagzod, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Loopquagzod, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Loopquagzod's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Loopquagzod's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Loopquagzod loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Never look at stars.