Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unthinking dog.

Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Ortcubbud Bamnarlpid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never pour water over plants.