Caryakban is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic spider.

Caryakban created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Caryakban, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Caryakban, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Caryakban's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Caryakban's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the west.