Tonkfobsag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unfair horse.

Tonkfobsag created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfobsag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tonkfobsag, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tonkfobsag's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tonkfobsag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tonkfobsag.

2. Erect nine iron sculptures of Tonkfobsag on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.