Ruttcaryog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, compassionate lobster.

Ruttcaryog created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttcaryog, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ruttcaryog, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ruttcaryog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Ruttcaryog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ruttcaryog.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never look in ponds.