Tonkbusarp Nillsanwon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, fussy raccoon.

Tonkbusarp Nillsanwon created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbusarp Nillsanwon, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkbusarp Nillsanwon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tonkbusarp Nillsanwon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tonkbusarp Nillsanwon's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three great tits approach from the north.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Never wear purple jumpers.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.