Mutfomjon is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonest hydra.

Mutfomjon created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Mutfomjon, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mutfomjon, it will not care.

Mutfomjon's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Mutfomjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never hurt sharks.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.