Bodvanyim is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident cow.

Bodvanyim created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodvanyim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bodvanyim, she will turn you into a slug.

Bodvanyim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bodvanyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not take Bodvanyim's name in vain.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.