Pannakvag Straghunven is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unsympathetic fly.

Pannakvag Straghunven created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pannakvag Straghunven, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pannakvag Straghunven, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Pannakvag Straghunven's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Pannakvag Straghunven's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pannakvag Straghunven's priests.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Never eat green fruit.