Fligkenbenyattfodlanarnhiv Tunomttaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fligkenbenyattfodlanarnhiv Tunomttaf created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligkenbenyattfodlanarnhiv Tunomttaf, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fligkenbenyattfodlanarnhiv Tunomttaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fligkenbenyattfodlanarnhiv Tunomttaf's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fligkenbenyattfodlanarnhiv Tunomttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Run away if nine shrews approach from the east.