Begwodnad Hanquimgov is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, kind wasp.

Begwodnad Hanquimgov created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begwodnad Hanquimgov, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Begwodnad Hanquimgov, he will boil you in a big pot.

Begwodnad Hanquimgov's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Begwodnad Hanquimgov's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.