Natominfod is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing naga.

Natominfod created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natominfod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Natominfod, he will turn you into a rat.

Natominfod's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Natominfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to badgers while wearing indigo scarves.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help squirrels in need.

5. Never look in ponds.