Quartgentikbapbonkjan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful owl.

Quartgentikbapbonkjan created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgentikbapbonkjan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quartgentikbapbonkjan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Quartgentikbapbonkjan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Quartgentikbapbonkjan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat melons.

4. Quartgentikbapbonkjan loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.