Sugbitshav is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, thoughtless dolphin.

Sugbitshav created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugbitshav, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sugbitshav, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sugbitshav's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Sugbitshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never paint your legs black.

4. Sugbitshav loves mites, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect five zinc sculptures of Sugbitshav on top of important buildings.