Tifcumbiffed is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering camel.

Tifcumbiffed created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifcumbiffed, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifcumbiffed, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tifcumbiffed's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tifcumbiffed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never jump near mites.