Xemvabsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, weak dryad.

Xemvabsaw created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemvabsaw, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Xemvabsaw, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xemvabsaw's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Xemvabsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xemvabsaw's name in vain.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hide from green cats for they are unholy.

4. Xemvabsaw loves horses, so they must be respected.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.