Mumfomgil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, moody tapir.

Mumfomgil created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mumfomgil, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumfomgil, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Mumfomgil's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Mumfomgil's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.