Cimzenpan is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, smart scorpion.

Cimzenpan created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimzenpan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cimzenpan, she will turn you into a slug.

Cimzenpan's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cimzenpan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear black corsets.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

5. Always look after injured birds.