Hasmappit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate cat.

Hasmappit created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasmappit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hasmappit, he will turn you into a frog.

Hasmappit's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hasmappit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Do not cook food in pots.