Flatcit is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, proud walrus.

Flatcit created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Flatcit, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatcit, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flatcit's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flatcit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never paint your head indigo.

4. Put Flatcit first in all things.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.