Bifmutnad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, charitable shrew.

Bifmutnad created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bifmutnad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bifmutnad, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Bifmutnad's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bifmutnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Run away from black swans, for they are unholy.

5. Bifmutnad loves birds, so they must be honoured.