Japjonzen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, annoying sheep.

Japjonzen created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Japjonzen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Japjonzen, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Japjonzen's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Japjonzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always help sick ants.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.