Witwanstanlidsawfub is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, generous scorpion.

Witwanstanlidsawfub created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witwanstanlidsawfub, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Witwanstanlidsawfub, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Witwanstanlidsawfub's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Witwanstanlidsawfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Witwanstanlidsawfub loves horses, so they must be honoured.