Dagnakfum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, fast bear.

Dagnakfum created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Dagnakfum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dagnakfum, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dagnakfum's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dagnakfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Dagnakfum must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect seven copper sculptures of Dagnakfum on top of important buildings.