Yoklighiv is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, loving mole.

Yoklighiv created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoklighiv, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yoklighiv, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yoklighiv's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yoklighiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Never feed melons to grasshopers while wearing green hats.

5. Never think about amino acids.