Sogtoffat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, capable salamander.

Sogtoffat created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogtoffat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sogtoffat, she will strike you with lightening.

Sogtoffat's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sogtoffat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sogtoffat.