Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind gnu.

Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim, he will not care at all.

Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your face fawn.

3. Never hurt geese.

4. Monladquart Figmetvil Madgenlim loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Never bounce in the presence of turtles.