Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental dryad.

Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin, it will laugh at you.

Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Put Fudfonkem Sinartged Pin first in all things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.