Dutmegpang Padsawort is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, blissful fish.

Dutmegpang Padsawort created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutmegpang Padsawort, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dutmegpang Padsawort, she will turn you into a hamster.

Dutmegpang Padsawort's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Dutmegpang Padsawort's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not take Dutmegpang Padsawort's name in vain.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.