Gutgemnut is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, tranquil coyote.

Gutgemnut created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutgemnut, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gutgemnut, he will torture you forever.

Gutgemnut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gutgemnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.